These are my two babies . . .  when they were still babies. It’s one of my favorite pictures.  I remember this being a challenging trip.  We were down in Atlanta to see friends and my husband got sick and had to go to Urgent care in the middle of the night.  And this was them at the hotel before bed.  They were both eager for those bottles and then just sat there sucking on them waiting for my next move.  Just staring.  So many expectations or just wonder I guess.

What’s next mom?  What’s next on the agenda? What exciting thing will you entertain us with next?  What are we going to have for dinner mom?  Who’s going to come over for playdate mom?

The list goes on.

When I was a kid, we found our own playmates down the street and only sometimes did my mom formally arrange them.  But sadly, a lot of that part of America is history.  I look down the street and rarely see kids out at play.

This photo.  When I look at it, I see the little expectations again and I see two innocent and helpless

little human’s I am in charge of taking care of.  Nourishing them. Teaching them everything.  Comforting them when they are upset and helping them build their confidence. Helping them to build their own confidence as they learn to do things for themselves, and become quite stubborn in insisting to do it themselves.  And then after all those seemingly never-ending small expectations.  Filling a bottle, then a sippy cup, then one day they stop asking you and get it for themselves.  And little by little they grow up.

They take pride in their accomplishments and suddenly develop expectations of themselves.  My 4-year-old would barely sit down to finish a coloring page or a drawing, then suddenly overnight it seems he has been sitting and patiently coloring and drawing pictures constantly.  And I love this because not only is he developing his creativity but learning to express himself in a healthy manner. Emotions of love or stress and frustration can come out in his drawings and it helps me to see more of what he is going through and open up a door of conversation on the topic.

I have also noticed he gets too hard on himself.  Perhaps that is the artist’s blood in him, from our family of artists that expect a little too much of themselves.  But how else do you grow if you never push yourself?  Anyway, we are learning that it is ok to color outside the lines sometimes.

Have a little artist in the house with the abundance of sweet little creations?  Here are some great tips for organizing all that artwork.

Those three words that can sometimes lead to my ultimate mom guilt.  Because they come again and again!  Sometimes I think , “not again.  I love you, but I have SO much to do….. or I just want to socialize for a few minutes with the other moms!  Play date is for mama’s sanity too child! I can’t wait til you are old enough to swing yourself.”  And then you know what… I feel guilty again for looking at such a task as a chore.

Because, tomorrow, they will grow up and my 2 year old won’t have that little sweet chime in his voice when he comes to my office door and “mom you come push me? Push me on da swing mom!”  And so then I pull away from whatever email, edit or project I am working on to go out in the backyard and push him. (not always mind you, but I attempt to balance it out)  I lift the swing back back back and let go. And he or she will squeal with delight “Wheeeeeee!!  Higher mom higher!  Whoa mom, too high, too scary…”

It goes on.

But you know something…. as adorable as their little chimes or squeals of joy are, there is something a little sweeter.

Sometimes I will be working, and take a look out the door into the backyard and see something adorable, I hear something adorable.  It is the way they play with each other.  Yes there is the “NO IT’s MY turn First! MOOOOMMMMMM Milo’s NOT letting me have a TURN!” thrown in there… but every once in a while, I hear them playing together nicely and taking turns spinning each other and giggling together.  This sibling bonding is heartwarming and I love to see it.   I believe that even at a young age, kids recognize the sacrifices we make.  Believe me, there are times I can’t get anything done!  But I have noticed what a huge difference breaking up my day has also had on me, on any stresses etc to step away from chores or emails or whatever to play with the kids, to go to the park, to stop and smell the roses… It brings me back to priorities, to family, and you know something… it drives me, motivates me.

Madeline will notice when I make a sacrifice and she sees when I am turning away from something else that I need to get done.  And it is a serious tug and pull.  This balancing act.  Being an adult, helping pay the bills and making those sacrifices.  I feel like a juggler for a reason. That ought to be a synonym for adult.

Madeline sees when I pull away because every time she sees that I am spending quality time with her, and not half looking at the phone or playing hide and seek (while doing chores at the same time (admit it! you do it too:)

In those moments we are building a puzzle, or reading a book or playing with ponies, or swinging, even if it just 5 or 10 minutes here and there…. she looks at me and says, “I love you mom.”

Time is love.

Have you played today?

Today was one of those days.  Like most days in raising toddlers, it was filled with messes,

 

falling down and shedding tears, spilled milk at breakfast.  All the fun stuff.  And when you start the

day tired and clumsy it can be hard to get a running start!

Before I had kids I use to do a lot of painting.  It is still my patience builder, but now it is twice the patience builder.  Last time I pulled my painting supplies out Madeline and I painted together (she is great to help me with the beginning of painting getting all that paint on the canvas) and then… Milo, my two year old woke up from his nap and wanted to help.  I just couldn’t get it all cleaned up fast enough and to avoid all the tears, I let him “help” me. After all, my landscape now had some blue trees to decorate it Dr. Seuss style…

Patience tested.  My work put in reverse…. but the reward.  Having some bonding time with my toddler sitting on my lap, loving to be doing something special with mom.  Ultimately I only lost about 15 minutes of work, I snapped this picture and painted over it later.

Earlier today, I walk down the hall to see the bathroom door closed and I hear the two making water noises in the bathroom.  I mentally prepare myself for what mess is on the other side of the door.  When I was a toddler, I remember pretending the toilet was a pool for my barbies.  GROSS, I know.  I think I was 3.  Yes, I do remember it.  I put all the toilet paper in too as part of the party.  I was having a blast.  Then my mom came into discover the mess.  I remember starting to prepare for “being in trouble” but my mom went to go get a camera.  Now, typically when that happened it meant we were doing something cute, positive or we were posing for pictures on vacation… film cameras weren’t pulled out as often back then.  I remember thinking… “ok, it’s ok, I am being cute/ funny!”  Haha.  of all things.   In reality my mom approached a rather messy situation with the only thing she could really do in that exact moment.  Laugh and make it a memory.  Then clean up the mess and move on. Yes she told me it wasn’t ok, yes I had to help clean up.

So when I opened the bathroom door, I was preparing to find the whole roll of toilet paper everywhere, toys in the toilet, the works… but what do I find? Madeline had gone to find her swimsuit, gotten it on herself and her and Milo were up on the counter, having a sink pool party!  It was quite the silly sight.  I love them so much.  Every day they make messes but at least they crack me up along the way.

So whatever it may be along the way, each day for you, just try laughing first and capture the memory.  Then clean up the mess.  (and have them help:)

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Happy Mother’s day out there to all the moms that get what those days are like, you know, the ones covered in spit up and filled with tired tantrums of two year olds.  What you do matters. Even if you don’t see it. Never forget just how important your job is! You are amazing!

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